The holidays can be a time for merriment and joyous occasions, but for some it can bring stress, sadness and even depression. Pennsylvania Psychiatric Institute’s (PPI) Licensed Counselor and Unit Therapist, Nikki Fogle, educates us on the “Holiday Blues” and provides advice on how to work through it.
“The holiday blues consist of feelings of depression, sadness, loneliness or can be noticed as more anxiety or fatigue that are exacerbated during, or appear relative to, the holidays. These feelings are more temporary and connected to the holiday season” explains Fogle, LPC.
Getting further into the signs of holiday blues, Fogle describes that there are both mood and physical symptoms:
“When it comes to mood, typically there’s feeling of angst, being personally frustrated, noticing more stress or anxiety, feeling often tired or edgy and not knowing why, feeling more depressed and unmotivated or noticing an increase in sadness. Physically, we see changes in behavior patterns like an increase in headaches, more isolation, not answering the phone, over or under eating and drinking or smoking more.”
Usually, the reason for the holiday blues can be tied to loss. “Loss doesn’t necessarily mean that of a loved one. It can also mean loss of support or a breakup or non-conventional loss, such as: loss of function due to a medical condition, loss of expectations or loss of finances” notes Fogle. “It can also be connected to wanting something and not having it, whether through your own choice or life circumstances.”
“The holiday blues is not an official diagnosis, but a circumstantial time period that can be stressful. Like a death anniversary, it is a timed calendar event that acts as a routinely occurring situational stressor. Though many of us think of the holidays as Thanksgiving though the New Year, the holiday blues can be relevant to values of the person and their culture, so it can appear during other religious times of the year.”
Some people are more likely to be affected than others. “If someone already has a mental health illness, they can be pre-disposed to notice an increase, in frequency or severity of symptoms. Major life changes that happen prior to the holidays, like significant losses of people or pets, relationship statuses, or even the loss of a job or big move can also predispose someone. And it’s not always a negative experience that can bring about the blues. Sometimes having a baby – which is a wonderful thing – can exacerbate the blues for some due to the process of dealing with that change.”
If you or a loved one might have the holiday blues, what can you do?
“The best thing to do is find ways to meet your needs. We need to nurture what we need within ourselves, without punishment or judgement.”
“Isolating? Find ways to be proactive to set up social connections. Feeling sad? Find space to grieve but create space to put it away and continue to function. With loss, find time to grieve and remember them but remember to also give yourself space. With loneliness, sometimes by giving of ourselves through volunteering we can give back to ourselves. You can visit a neighbor, pet-sit, try smiling at three people a day or give someone a compliment.”
It’s the “season of giving” but the holiday blues can also happen from over-extending. Make sure to find time for yourself: create quiet time, like a couple extra minutes in the shower. Know that saying no to someone is okay and be realistic with what can be done with your time, energy and money.
Being with family can also be stressful. Having a family that is dysfunctional can put a lot of stress on someone because they don’t have what they wish they had. “If you know that your family or a partner triggers you, plan for it to keep yourself safe. Go in with your eyes open: how much time can you spend before it becomes too much or before you drink too much? Can you limit your time, limit substance intake, bring a buffer or find support after you leave?
“Therapy isn’t always needed to get through the holiday blues. Most of the time people can take care of themselves by being aware and planning for it. However, it never hurts to reach out – unfortunately the issue is the 9-month waiting list for therapists. The holiday blues is a temporary phase that most people know will suck but can work through it. But for those depressed to begin with, it can deepen to potential suicidal thoughts. If this is the case, they should reach out for help.”
Post-holiday blues can happen too. The holidays create energy, and after, in the middle of winter, when the excitement is gone, you may have overspent and are dealing with bills or overate and face the repercussions of those extra cookies and slices of pie.
The holiday blues isn’t the only seasonal disorder, “Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, is often associated with the holiday blues, and they can sometimes be mistaken for each other. Because of the interplayed timeline, they could be mistaken for the other. The holiday blues typically go away once the holidays are over, when structure comes back. SAD has a correlation with light, so those living where there are shorter days and longer nights may notice the affect to their moods continuing past the holidays, until the days once again become longer.”
There was a huge increase in the holiday blues during the pandemic. “People had change thrust upon them without their permission. There was lots of depression, isolation and loneliness from not having social connectiveness. There was a change in the routine and structure that provides us safety; it was removed. Though waiting lists have grown as a residual from the pandemic, we’re moving back towards pre-pandemic levels.”
Unlike many who focused on the negatives, Fogle noticed good things from the pandemic as well. “Sometimes we stay in our comfort zone as much as we can. People learned adaptive skills. There was time for self-reflection and reassessing values. People reconnected with hobbies and interests, found more creative and expressive explorations, reconnected with those in their lives and found more creative ways to be social and to connect.”
At PPI, Fogle works as a therapist in the inpatient unit, providing group and individual counseling as a member of the multidisciplinary treatment team. She has been at PPI for 23 years, starting out as a psych tech before going back to school and getting her degree allowing her to provide therapy for the past 12 years. She also runs trainings and does drug and alcohol work for the commonwealth of PA on the side as a CADC certified (drug and alcohol) counselor.
If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.
If you would like to speak to someone about better managing your stress and anxiety, or to make an appointment, please call (717) 782-6493 for more information.